Diamond in the Rough • Disconnected • Forbidden Fruit • Frankenstein’s Big Show • From a Distance • Frozen Flower • Imitating Life • My Animation • Frozen Flower • My Baby • My Pact with Your Body • Praise • Purposeless Sun • Scarecrow • Take a Ride With Me • Zeros and 1′s
Suddenly the heat left And I can’t quite explain The effect But I rely on my instinct Telling me something’s wrong There’s suddenly a feeling that doesn’t belong
Maybe it’s disappointment Over my self appointment As your mother Trust me I’d rather not bother I’ll teach you how this works And then you’ll find another
You’ll show her your perfect New demeanor While I’ll be left to remember The time I decided To surrender Leaving room For someone new To become your lover And I’ll just be the other Girl who once bothered you
You are a diamond in the rough And baby you are tough To clean But I know just when I’ve had enough You’ll suddenly be the most beautiful diamond Anyone will ever see
I know you’ll come through So I’ll try to have the patience To stick with you
I love you in and out And I know what you’re about But sometimes I think I don’t have it in me To wait and see If you’ll ever be The man I foresee
Truth is I’m getting older And with each day I wonder More and more If I have a real partner In you
Someone who sees a future A world of possibility Do you have the ability The desire To keep this fire Alive
I admire Your mind I desire your soul And without you I’m not quite whole
You are the diamond In the rough And baby you are tough To clean But I know just when I’ve had enough You’ll suddenly be The most beautiful diamond Anyone will ever see
Maybe I’ve just laid The trails For another girl To come and take the spoils Of my toils These are the fears Of the woman who loves
We’ve connected and disconnected So many times That I can no longer lament it I’ve known you long enough now to accept it
Accept that I may not know you at all We call each other We miss each other And yet the minutes don’t bother To linger Long enough for you to no longer Be a stranger
Life is too fast now Especially here In the city that doesn’t sleep The next day is so near I’m already there And what happened today is not really clear
It’s clear that I’m alone now And you’re some where on your way Passing my life day by day
Your leather jacket Deems my touch so soft A thought I caught In your intrigued eyes My body sways Leads you to display your caring ways Leads me to wonder At the magic God leant me to render To reality The instigating beauty that men ponder The charm I’m afraid to squander To lose as I wander About the enticing splendor God created not for me to savor.
I’m rare, You lovingly declare And guiltily I dare To let you fall into the allure Of my innocent eyes Holding back scenes Nights from my past In a mystery my glance is cast When at last You satisfy my interest in you And I can’t help but view The time spent As a crime to repent
Not strong, am I? I constantly fear it will not be long Before my past will rust the luster Of my present candor And I’ll remember About the unfulfilled stranger Bighting the walls of my heart from hunger Unable to linger any longer In my past’s dimmed corner Yearning to be materialized As you sit here scrutinized Unable to take the shape Of the shadow I can’t escape.
I’m sorry, I want to scream Sorry I can never learn Not to act upon temptation Not to forego an introduction To another promising heart Not to see the beauty you impart Even if it is a gift That’s not meant for me Carelessly I do not let the possibility Pass by into eternity Without tasting the opportunity You’ve so graciously opened to me. Maybe this time it’s true The danger I suspect in you Reminds me of the power I’m trying to reflect in you The power of this creature That silently controls my nature Waiting for his permission To come to the admission Of love
Until then it is all a game Enticing, disenchanting and plain So in search of him I remain.
Sunday morning The weekend is ending Trying to make sense Of the sense that I’m losing Trying to find the meaning Of the happiness I’m selling
But I don’t know what it is
I know we shared a memory I created an event in your history And I rushed out the door Into someone else’s fantasy
I run between their lives Meeting their children husbands and wives A stranger Who suddenly appears in their picture Leaving a special feeling As a remainder
The parties become the past So fast I can’t remember the last They collect into days Into an album that fades Just moments from other people’s plays
I have tried to write my own And I had many versions Ending with nice introductions To scripts lacking in inventions As I dreamt of living in exceptions
A non committed life Is the commitment I can keep For now What’s the purpose of life anyhow?
To accumulate prizes Or to accumulate moments? So far I’ve been collecting collections I’m well versed in other people’s attractions I am the prize they’ve earned The validation for their monotonous existence
I spin through the crowd Faster and faster Until the people are pulled in through inertia Laughing and clapping I feel their hearts beating Magnifying my pulse Until nothing else exists
I have the only sober eyes In this unfocused picture So I choose to steal a glimpse Of what I really came for
I soak up their colors I learn their languages I see the exchanges between families Until I am afraid of becoming too familiar Lest my fleeting grandeur Shall reveal the Frankenstein creature Lurking uninvited in their feature Fruitlessly attempting To be just another actor In their script
I try so hard To give you love Every day I fill my heart With joy I can impart I hope my art Can be the start Of a new kind of interaction I hope the anger and frustration Give way to smiles and celebration
I pour all my passion Channel every tear And every action Into my perfect vision Hoping the reflection I’ve created Has over exposed The memories I’ve hated I want to be blinded By the light Of happiness Until I feel no sorrow No emptiness No pain No trace Of the scars That compile the sad refrain Playing endlessly in my brain
My study is my window The glass, my protection I hide from interaction I observe quietly The ordinary insanity Saving all my energy To give so openly That I open the door To accept all the cruelty Lurking in the shadows Of smiles I can’t handle the intensity It is my destiny To love from a distance I can change the instance Of sadness But not the reality Of madness
I let you love me candidly Until I step off the stage And run to my cage So you are not disappointed By your sage So you can’t entangle me In the rage Of life
Secretly Melting
In my bed at night with the covers so tight holding me securely starring blankly into my books observing the lakes made by gently falling rain I don’t even strain to remove you from my thoughts you’re still the main subject of my day dreams
But I wouldn’t tell you this how your kiss your soft caress the little tenderness from your caring touch meant so much to me I wouldn’t let you know it’s too early now for you to see the love that your warmth released in me the tears of joy that welled up in my eye but I’m telling a lie because I only wish I hadn’t revealed how much I cared hadn’t given you that power to see all I have is a little feeble flower surviving through your light.
I wish I’d followed the rules but I’m destined to be one of the fools irrational, seizing upon the optional as if it were inevitable but you see the possible isn’t chance to me it’s a goal a way to fill up the hole inside my heart and I know you’re the sort that’s used to these clichés I’m so afraid of what you’ll do when you realize my addiction has turned to you. Will you take away the only attention that has moved me will these arms be silk for no one will my endless search for someone that understands my reckless action lead my back to my reflection once again? again I feel like an intrusion I must go back to my seclusion to my hallow state of being no attachment means no meaning no desire means no fire no pain while the temperature climbs higher and clashes with my frozen fingers No. No sensation lingers when you sleep in sheets of ice frozen scenery is so nice to admire, to spend a bit of time to ponder but don’t expect it to satisfy your hunger with a dead and isolated flower left over from a long forgotten summer When you’ve decided to come back and remember.
Aimlessly passing time Had an idea to try a rhyme Maybe I’ll give some meaning To a pointless evening Maybe my fear Would become clear If I spent these moments with you.
Why do you seem so keen Always picking up what I mean But not giving any answers Confusing me even more Because if not even you Can tell me what to do Then who Is my sage? How can you amaze Every lost one like me Searching for meaning For a reason to be From someone so animated, So lively, so free Attracting the followers All the borrowers Of your light.
But when your performance ends Your soul depends On drinking You don’t want to be thinking Of the emptiness Your constant restlessness That won’t go away So everyday you return to the anxious crowd All waiting for you to think aloud But you don’t speak When we’re alone You claim you’re weak Unstable stepping stones Having you falling before you’ve reached the peak I didn’t know you were one of the meek.
I sat dreaming away the days Hoping the future unknown hours Would, through predestined powers, Create themselves Would create my life. The one I was afraid to live.
But time was passing by Boredom became a syndrome, A constant state of being Until you brought me meaning.
In you I found my inspiration I longed to be part of your foundation For my everyday to turn into yours. My love would be my offer For your favor Your love would be my escape To a life I could savor Full of moments to remember.
Because I thought My everyday never happened to you Because the truth Was that my everyday was too hard for you So go on drinking Go on entertaining Go on forgetting
Soon you’re not so young Not so bright All your followers have fled Have found other charmers You’re just one of the numbers With no audience for your solos And I’m just one of the followers Who will always sing a harmony To someone else’s melody Though they will never hear me.
My animation Interrupts your fascination With losing all sensation When my adventurous weightless spirit Launches through the door It doesn’t fit your realistic frame of reference Because you have no reference to the essence Of your heart To the happiness that fearlessness can impart The freedom to depart On a mission to fashion the impressions Of life Collections of visions Of God’s creations Spun into man’s sensations Embellished replications.
My colors are too bright for you They may call you to the wild I am the child Of inspiration I may threaten your self deception Make you admit your repression But I know you’ll never applaud my indiscretion Expressing every sensation And not worrying about the reaction
I hold as a baby the love that you gave me and cautiously, I admit your goodbye as I begin to cry
Now I nurse my child a child who’s future I must now alter though still I see Every feature of this little creature belongs to you
Your lips the lips that I poured my soul into your eyes my very own seas that carried me to the shores of our Garden of Eden you held me in your arms and let my love deepen now I know I will drown if I ever awaken from the dream that you’ve taken.
My Pact With Your Body
Two naked bodies wrapped Imitate the connection that I’ve lacked So close you feel my appeal How far I’ve packed The love I’ve locked In my secret pact with your body, I hoped to awaken a heart that was weary Though clearly You laughed The last time I’d hoped My gentle smile would mask All the healing for which I ask In your distant strength I bask And with my body I will risk Exposing my impurity To gain the sanctity Your love would bestow on me
I wonder if you conceal Some feeling that would reveal An appeal To a condition so frail A tender kiss seems to repeal My fear that I fail To fulfill Your desire The one I’m afraid to acquire
And what I don’t know May hurt me Letting my heart go May move me To outlive the fantasy To turn it into reality I’ll employ your consent Till I’m content With your intent To love me
The door shuts The memory adjusts And the melancholy scene repeats
I sit alone After you’ve gone My lips still warm from kisses My heart just noticing new bruises Afflicted by your praise Why am I so easy to amaze?
Now that you’ve discovered my fear You tell me what I want to hear Letting me think I’m the emotionless leader Effortlessly attaining what I came for But you know I came for praise You know it is you whom I need to amaze Glad to show me how I can please
You claim I scare you I’m a tease Because I can’t return you searching glare My eyes may reveal my fear Of believing that you care Instead I tell you What I think you want to hear To keep you happy Not to keep you near So you can praise me I’ll amaze you
But when you ask me what I’m thinking You won’t get a reply I have to keep a distance So you can’t cause me to cry
But now I sit alone After you’ve gone In withdrawal from your embraces Imagining all the faces Of every ordinary fool like me Just to Realize I’m like everybody To you When you shut the door I thought you were more
You look at me indifferently wide eyed, playing enjoying my swaying over to your court pretending you’re the sort that’s never fully saying what’s on your mind letting me become kind towards your impersonated guard that I longed to believe in to associate with to get to know beyond your show that brings you pleasure but not the one I seek the one that I know that you will never realize exists so go ahead and speak but not to me from the depth of your shallow lenses that amazes those who consider themselves to be uncommon creatures and enjoy hearing and saying what’s already been said to be worthy and enthusiastically trying to destroy it to be seen doing it and then to bash those that paid any respect to their imitations of revelations and basked in a little of the commonly created purposeless sun and you can go there but I’m gone I’m done trying to help you achieve happiness when you don’t want it when you only want the stupid problems you create never coming to it never being the least bit grateful enough to let me know that you were so I could have been able to go having never convinced myself that you wanted to love life just like me and to learn and care about it enough to change internally.
At the end of the day Shadows lay Before my lonely scarecrow His exaggerated face protruding From a quiet not worth scaring Maybe he’s preparing For the distracting rush of day To lend his wicked animation some fascination Some escape from the falsity of this play
As I trespass around his way I tell him he looks funny When there’s no one at whom to direct his furry Suddenly shivers run through my body His glance is much too leery Suspecting me, rejecting me For gaining unauthorized access To the recesses Of his lonely soul
His bitterness finds its receptor in me Facing the future of my self deception He’s a reflection of a misguided vision Guided towards retrieving affection Bringing back no direction
Scarecrow, too animated for life I call upon you to desert your position I cannot complete your mission With your delusions of grandeur You render the reality too slender, To ponder, Ever being able to engender Your sought after demeanor I haven’t scared off the killer Of my dreams It seems You must take off the mask And leave me to bask In the darkness of shadows.
I’m the ship That will take you To your destiny
Picture your fantasy Now imagine That it could really be Life is malleable with me
I don’t just dance To the music I become the conductor And get whatever I am after
This is my ship And I’m the captain Get on board And I will make it happen
I’ll drop you off At your destination And keep on sailing After my next temptation
Never knowing Where I’m going While this river Keeps on flowing
I guess my destination Is the sensation Of freedom My purpose is to ride So I take the helm And take my mission In stride
I find a new muse Each step of the way And take an interest in you Till you take an interest in yourself Let me help My way is Socratic I make you search For the meaning Of your own words And suddenly you have the feeling That I’m the answer When I’m just the door To let you have so much more Than you ever dared to before
Erasing Subtracting factors from my life Trying to find my formula
I keep adding the zeros and ones Trying to guess which one Is the zero Which one is the one
Mostly I’m the zero I still haven’t begun Since every addition Brings with it a mission To run
Back to the beginning Back to stage one Before I felt kisses Before illusions had gone
I wonder if I should paint my lips again Leave a mark on your life again Put you in danger Of discovering you’ve been kissing a stranger Once an addition Now a remainder
I’ve left a score of them behind How many can I scatter Before they haunt me down as one
I feel it coming A default beginning Made of the inclinations I’ve been denying The fears I’ll never be ready to begin sharing
You see my shadow scares me Compromises the security Of my unthreatening presentation Until now stirring no great reaction In others or in me I held on to my zero so easily So adamantly Thwarting all attempts To permanently Transform me Into someone
But now there’s no more hiding
I could have stayed with you When you waited with me In life’s waiting room But now my time has come I must become one
Lets say goodbye
You wonder if I love you Right now there is no I I’ve been borrowing yours
Should I throw away The many differing notions of happiness I had when all I had when was innocence I still feel the emptiness For all reality seems lacking Compared with the imagined love I’m forsaking For the sake of finally creating A reality
But I can’t live out the reality Without giving up hope Of still finding my fantasy
